Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
