i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
