The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize