you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
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I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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