Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
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