marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Hippo gnu deer
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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