his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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