On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Is Oprah even human
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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