he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
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