like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize