You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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