He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
