think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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