you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize