so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
