I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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