Me too!
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Floor bacon is actually really good
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
