you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
