I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
BRING THE BAGELS
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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