I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
