how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
