Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
