Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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