Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
