5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
