I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
