Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
