i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
