He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
