the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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