Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I had to cum in my sink.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
