If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
