did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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