Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
