just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
