You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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