I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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