At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
