this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
