I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
