O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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