She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
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You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
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I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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