I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I would fuck him just for his dog
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
