whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
