i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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