ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
