oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
