If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
