thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
