I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Randomize
