Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
