Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
