Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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