its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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