dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
