she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize