there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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