Who did Billy Mays play for?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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