imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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