I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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