god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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