The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
