my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
